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Miss, Ms., Mrs.
When I was in secondary school, majority of my classmates were born in either 1993, 1994, or 1995. When I thought about that a few days ago, I thought, “Would you look at that? The new class, if you may, of the third decade of life.” Now, I started thinking about all of these because of the video of a Chinese woman I watched on X on the precipice of saying goodbye to another year. In China, she said, if you’re a woman, single, and over 30, you are called a “left-over woman” in Mandarin. In Cantonese, they have a few choice phrases including, “orange at the bottom of the…
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When is a Body deserving of having Violence visited upon it?
I had a spirited conversation (read: argument) with my driving instructor and another student yesterday. No, it wasn’t about my reverse technique (which is atrocious, by the way. Wish me luck next class). What was it about, then? We were on the road doing a test-run when he suddenly blurted about a mad girl, followed quickly by a tirade of words. I was confused; “did something happen?” “Ahn ahn, didn’t you see that girl we just passed that her whole belly is outside and her short is barely covering anything?” I didn’t. I had been minding my business. So, I said, “Oh, I didn’t.” It would have ended there, but…
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Uwa was raped and murdered in Church. Do you have any other questions?
When the Mirabel Centre launched the #JusticeForUwa campaign on the 31st of May in response to the violent rape and murder of 22 year old Uwaila Omozuwa at a Church in Benin, the fire spread quickly across the internet with many enraged at the incident and determined to pursue justice. Nigerians, home and abroad, lent their voices to the campaign and passionately asked for gaps they could stand in, to ensure that Uwa’s murderer doesn’t keep walking the streets after prematurely ending her life. We were still reeling from the all too familiar pain of that loss when we were hit across the face with another woman whose death in…
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She’s 15: Teenage girls are not objects of your perverse sexual fantasy
On Saturday, the 11th of April, Yul Edochie, a Nigerian actor, took to Twitter to celebrate his daughter on her 15th birthday. His message was innocuous, and one would expect, as in most situations where a person wishes their loved one a ‘happy birthday’ on social media, that others would join them in celebrating. The messages quickly took a disturbing turn when grown men inundated the comments by not only making sexually suggestive comments about this teenage girl’s body but also making remarks about her virginity or assumed lack of it. I wish I could say I was surprised, but I wasn’t. And that, knowing that this is a reality…
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Rape: Heightened Sexual Violence During Month of Love
In 2015, Soladoye Ige (not real name) was reported to have told the Police that he decided to rape his girlfriend as a celebration of Valentine’s Day. Why? Well, because she wouldn’t have sex with him. For him, sex was necessary as a symbol of the day’s significance so of course, why should it matter that she didn’t want any part of it especially since they had an established sexual relationship? Last year, in India, there was the case of a 24 year old man who raped his 18 year old friend on Valentine’s Day. According to the victim, they had only become friends a few months back and so…
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Tips for the YALI RLC Application
It is okay if you’ve applied for YALI once before and your application was unsuccessful. That’s the story of my first application, too. The second one, though? That was a home run that gave me an opportunity to not only deepen my knowledge, but also learn from other young Africans. That’s the first thing I’d say to you; don’t disqualify yourself on the basis of a past application. You have likely grown in that time, and I truly hope you’ll allow yourself give it a second shot. Or a third. The Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI) was launched by the United States government as an effort to invest in the…
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DRENCHED IN CONFUSION THIS NEW YEAR?
Yesterday, I put up a question on my Instagram Story, asking people to share their 2020 ask in one word. My word was ‘Courage’; I am asking the universe for an abundance of it. When the answers came back, I noticed that for a lot of people, ‘Clarity’ is their word for the year. Hours ago, I had a conversation about how dreams become heavier the older we become. How, if we’re not careful, they lose that shine youth possesses in abundance and begin to take on a dull hue that threatens one’s sanity. The price for failure becomes steeper. I studied Microbiology at the University. It was a course…
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The day after #16daysofActivism
Just in case you are wondering, the 16 days of activism against gender-based violence is an annual campaign that begins on the 25th of November – the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women – and ends on the 10th of December – Human Rights Day. Fitting, isn’t it? The purpose of this annual campaign is to raise awareness of the numerous ways that women are exposed to violence simply by virtue of being women, share information on how we all as the larger society can be better allies to women, and fuel existing conversations around women safety. The theme for this year is Orange the World: Generation…
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That’s the thing; Privilege should come with Responsibility
Two weeks ago, I was at the University of Lagos for the monthly seminar organized for PEIFFUND mentees, whom I happen to be one of. The topic of concern was “Communication Skills” so you can probably imagine how interactive it got. After the session, in the spirit of that interaction, four of us got into a conversation about feminism; I and 3 young men who I have gotten to know over the past few months. Now, this article is not a run-down of our conversation, but I’d like to highlight a few things that I think we all need to pay attention to in the way that we show up…
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The Beginning
As a child, one of my favorite adults was Mummy Tolu. While growing up, she was a neighbor and what you could refer to as a ‘second mummy’. She asked all the important questions like “Is your mum back?” when my mum traveled and “have you eaten?’ when the answer was no. When I got into the boarding house as a student in Junior Secondary School 1, it became a thing that Mummy Tolu would give me rolls of milk, milo, and some detergents at the beginning of every term up until my last year in secondary school. If it didn’t happen, then resumption was incomplete. It always happened. I…
The Isle of Jade
